woensdag 6 november 2013

Let all your desires flow through the dimensions into your reality with EASE and FUN.

Thoughts: a higher dimension?

I would love to start by shedding some light on the concept of dimensions that’s been going around. You see some people doubt the fact that higher dimensions exist simply because they can’t see them with their eyes, which are actually just part of the physical dimension. It is easy for most to understand we are currently in a fourth dimensional world: we have our 3 dimensions of space and the dimension of time. However when thinking about higher dimensions, most people tend to be rather closed minded about that. They just can’t imagine what that would be like.

The funny thing is that the very thinking process used to try and imagine anything whatsoever, is actually the next higher dimension we speak of so often. Once you think of it, it should be undeniable that the thoughts you are having at any given time, whether it is in dreams or when thinking of the present, past or the future, really compose another dimension that is superimposed onto what we call reality. This dimension is indeed, as said, timeless and not at all space bound. Think about it, go into your imagination and find that you can instantly go anywhere in space and time that you can possibly think of and in fact way beyond that.

There is no scientific proof for this, because science is actually the study of the laws of nature that define our current dimension. But the laws of physics don’t apply in your imagination do they? Can you not think of flying intensely and experience a sensation of actually doing so? The fact that you can think of it is all the proof needed. Everyone’s own experience is their proof of this next dimension. If you can’t imagine a single thing differently than our current reality, then you could try to deny this is true, but in fact you won’t even be able to imagine this either. (It’s a paradox, if you hadn’t noticed)

What's the point?


The question that should now arise is why does this matter, what’s the point of it? The answer lies in the fact that most of the people that can at least keep an open mind concerning new dimensions have got it backwards. They might think the 5th dimension is something that you can accomplish trough living a good life that ends in enlightenment for example. Or that we are going to ascend into this higher dimension and that the rest of us will die in the apocalypse. There are all sorts of things going around.

So the thing is they’ve got it backwards: we are actually an extension of higher beings, we’re the physical manifestation of something bigger. This can also be proven by yourself to yourself right now. If you’ve tried the test earlier, where you were to imagine how your thinking is actually another dimension each of you experiences on top of the current “reality”, well, there you have proof that you are indeed already part of that higher dimension. You’ve manifested here, you’ve focused your energy in your physical body for this lifetime, but that doesn’t mean your imagination can’t take you further, right? You are literally part of a higher consciousness, congratulations on your discovery!

Practical use: the Law of Attraction


No matter how much I love philosophizing, this information still isn’t very practical to most of you. The practical use lies in the laws that apply concerning the relationship between the 5th dimension, your thinking and the others, our so called reality. You see, across the dimensions there is a law of attraction. This law states that the things you are thinking about attract more of that to you. If we would speak in terms of vibration, where lower vibrations are hate, fear, blame and guilt and higher vibrations are hope, peace, love and enlightenment, we would say that you attract things that are a vibrational match to your thought to you in this reality. In fact you are attracting those things as we speak, so seeing as you are reading this, I suspect that even though it may not be easy to fully understand just yet, you have already become more of a match to it than you once were.

But for clarity reasons, let’s leave aside this whole vibrational thing and let me give you some examples. Let’s say you are afraid that you’re not going to have enough money. As you are thinking “oh no, I’m not going to have enough money and I’m going to have to work really, really hard to get by this month”, you are in fact attracting more of it to you. You would be attracting more of ‘not enough money’ and ‘work really hard’ to you. So you won’t only be attracting more thought of those things to you, but you will also attract situations and even people towards you that match those thoughts.

On the other hand, let’s say you were confident about the infinite resources of our universe and confident in your capability of obtaining whatever you like (or don’t like) through the law attraction. You would think something more of “It’s a good thing this universe provides me with enough opportunity to get all the money I want, by doing things that I like doing, and I know I can easily find a way to do that if I stay focused on that which I want for myself.” That would mean you would attract not only more thoughts that support that, but you will also attract those situations and even people that match those thoughts as well.

This might be a little overwhelming and that’s because of two possible reasons. On one hand you may think it couldn’t possibly be that easy, but then you simply have to try it out for a while and you’ll not only notice how easy it is, but also how much fun it can be to adjust your thinking to this simple law. On the other hand you may not want to accept that you or those dear to you would have attracted any of the bad things that have happened in your lives to you yourself. I actually enjoyed this sense of responsibility for past events and I already love the challenge of adjusting my thought patterns to better suit my desires.

But nevertheless it is completely understandable that some of you may not want to have the responsibility for some things that have happened, ‘cause I know many of you will have gone through much worse than I would want to imagine. But even though you are in a way responsible for these things, even though you somehow allowed them into your experience, that doesn’t mean that you are to blame for them, not at all. You see, you and me both have been creating our experience mostly by looking at our current ‘reality’. That means if you see something bad happening, you’ll think about it and if you let thoughts like that grow stronger, they will eventually start manifesting in your experience. The same goes for good things.  It’s not anyone’s fault, you’ve just been creating by default for quite a while now, because the law of attraction isn’t something anyone’s ever told you about. There’s been no research of it either; because you alone can for yourself research the 5th dimension and the effects it has on your reality.

As bad as things may be, as of now you can start thinking more in the direction of the things you do want and those things will come to you as quickly as you can allow them into your experience. The art of allowing is another aspect that is very import to the law of attraction. To allow means to believe, to trust that the things you are thinking about, the things you are asking for will indeed attract more of that to you. As you trust that it is so, firstly the thought will grow stronger: you’ll be thinking more of it and you’ll be thinking of it in greater detail as you progress. When the thought is strong enough and you have complete faith in your creative power, things will start manifesting and changing faster than you ever thought possible.

Don't get attached!


The trick is to not get attached to any given outcome either. Being attached brings forth the risk that you think about that you still haven’t gotten what you wanted yet and that means your focus is more on the lack of what you want rather than the receiving of that which you want. By focusing on the lack, you’ll attract more of the lack of what you want. Being detached means you understand that the attraction process doesn’t bring you exactly what you ask for, but it will bring things that are in alignment to it and as those things start appearing you will have more information to continue guiding your thoughts in the direction of your desires. So, detachment allows you not to be disappointed with any of your manifestations so that you can keep guiding your creative power without getting demotivated by any particular event.

Lastly I want to talk about emotions. Some of you may have the same problem I had when I first learned about the law of attraction: I didn’t even know concretely what it was I desired. It’s not easy imagining what you want if you don’t even have a clue on what it is you want for yourself. But in fact you already know something you do want: you want to know what you want! This is the thought you can start everything with, “I want to know what I want.” That will attract more thought concerning things you may desire which will in turn attract events and people that’ll help you figure out what you really desire.

Emotional Guidance

Now this is where emotions come in. It so happens that the law of attraction comes with a guidance system from above. Your infinite higher being is constantly giving you feedback on the things you’re thinking about. When you feel bad about something, it means that you are thinking in a manner that is not in alignment with your truer, higher self. If you’re feeling good, then your higher being is letting you know you’re going in the direction you had intended for yourself even before you were born in this life.

So let me specify here that for example when you just got dumped and you feel like a worthless piece of shit, you are probably feeling very badly then. But unlike most would think, you’re not feeling bad because of what is happening to you, but because you’re thinking something that is not in alignment with who-you-really-are. You’re not a worthless piece of shit and until you stop thinking like that, you will continue to feel bad. That’s why it usually takes a while to get over someone, but not when for example the next day you meet someone who makes you feel special again. That’ll make you feel good again, but not because of what is happening to you either, you’re feeling good because believing you’re special is in fact who-you-really-are!

So basically, all you’ve come here to do is to guide your thoughts in such a way that it feels good to you and that way you’ll discover the things you want or don’t want, the latter of which will actually also provide information in the direction of what you do want. A wonderful exercise to get over past events is to, when you happen to think of them again, just imagine that situation in a way that you would’ve liked it to go. It is much is easier to let those things go if you’ve corrected them in your thought, because now you know you’ve guided your thought towards how you would like things to have gone, bringing more of exactly that. It’s also a great exercise to get into imagining situations to your liking rather than to how they seem to go and it will help you imagining future events to go how you want them to as well. It’s also nice to know that the stronger the emotions are, both positive and negative, the stronger that particular thoughts is, meaning it will manifest much more quickly. This is useful as strong bad emotions will warn you and strong good emotions will get you all the more excited.

The essence


So by realizing your thoughts are in fact another dimension and that they are completely separable from “reality”, you can use them to imagine your desires into this dimension through the law of attraction. By allowing the thoughts to grow stronger, by believing in your own incredible creative power you’ll be able to manifest anything you desire. On this path you can learn to pay attention to the way you feel so that you can easily guide your thoughts and intentions towards feeling good. That way you can never feel forced to go in a certain direction anymore; because after a while you’re single motivation will be “how can I make this feel good?” and it won’t take long after that for you to get so good at it that you’ll only be feeling better and better, because everything that feels a bit off will be instantly turned around by your awareness of it and your intention to feel good.

I hope I’ve been able to shed some light on how you can make feeling good your personal goal in this life and how it will bring you the satisfaction in your life that you deserve. If you want to learn more about the law of attraction and how to apply it, I strongly recommend reading Abraham Hicks’ The Law of Attraction Basic Teachings. It is not my only source, but it sure has been the one that’s helped me the most.


Peace and Love to All
Namaste

15 opmerkingen:

  1. It's a Pity that these thoughts of you don't apply on evert human being appaerently.

    BeantwoordenVerwijderen
    Reacties
    1. Hi there. What exactly do you mean? These thoughts don't even apply just to humans, they apply to everything. Take our planet for example, gravity is the attraction of mass... to mass. And how about our collective consciousness, the things we see in the mass media keep manifesting over and over again. I think it's horrible we let people think of things like that on a global scale.
      But let's take you for an example now. You seem to think that this does not apply to you. (Or someone you know, correct me if I'm wrong here) Then I'm guessing you might find "proof" that supports those thoughts. But let's say you were to believe you're awesome. (Or happy, full of love, or any other desires you may have) Then you would also start seeing proof of it, because it's true! But for you to know it to be true, you'll have to believe it. So I urge you to get into the habit of looking for thoughts that make you feel good. Don't get discouraged by the thoughts that don't, either. Rather let them guide you, when a thought doesn't feel good, try changing the thoughts untill you do feel good again and trust for more of that feeling to come. After a while this will become a habit, a habit of positive thoughts, guiding you through the amazing experiences you desire and actually way beyond that. I strongly recommend at least testing this, it's really a lot of fun too! ;)

      Namaste

      Verwijderen
  2. Dear Dean, The reason for my answer is very simple. I'm a man who's feeling are terribly hurt by things happened in the past. I've did some horrible things and hurt a lot of people around me, without thinking of the consequences on there lives. Now i'm a better person who tries to make the best of everything. But the most pain is the negligence of those persons and a specially the lack of forgiveness, altough i've reached my hand several times to make up. Years hase gone by but still there is a very hard feeling of hate towards me. How does your theory fit in all of this, when there is appaerantly no place for forgiveness ??

    BeantwoordenVerwijderen
    Reacties
    1. Well hey, as long as you're making the best of things, let me tell you a little secret, forgiveness doesn't come from outside, it comes from within.
      But just in case that doesn't mean much to you, let me tell you a little story, 'cause to be honest, I've been in a very similar situation, only I was on the other end of the equation.
      Once upon a time there was a family, with two kids, not so very old. But the parents, for whatever reason, broke apart and so the mother moved on and with her kids, she found a new man. This man was kind to her and like a father to her children. So she decided to start a new family with him and this went pretty well for quite a few years.
      Unfortunately, this man was raised in a family where the father had all the power in his family. His father probably said things like "when you're older, you'll understand" and such. But what his father didn't understand is that when you exert power unto a child, and tell it what it can and can't do, it loses touch with itself. A kid starts living his life in terms of others, instead of living truly troughout itself.
      So the man came into this new family with an image of fatherhood as being the boss of the family and eventually he acted exactly like that, even though he probably thought he was never gonna be like that when he was younger. Now I always imagine the man doesn't act like this in a consciouss manner, but much rather because he has absolutely no idea what being a parent is all about. And when he didn't know what to do anymore, he started acting like the only example he's ever had.
      The moral of this story is that being a parent is about setting a good example, 'cause no matter what, it'll be the only example a person has.
      Now the second moral of the story is one that's probably more of use to you. The second part of this story is about the children who are being raised by the man that had no idea how to be a good father. These children naturally feel heavily suppresed by this man, not even their father, who is trying desperately to control them.
      Now it so happens that one of these children isn't exactly normal. This boy is what I like to call an indigo child (you can look that up if you like), which means he has an exceptionally developed third eye chakra. In short in means he's got a higher sense of intuition and because of that a much greater insight in particular things, such as the obvious flaws of our educational and politcal systems.
      So in this story, we have a man desperately trying to take control of a boy who has an exceptional insight in how exactly this man is trying to take control of him. Things went horribly out of hand: the kid always tried to fight back, but his fatherfigure kept suppressing him with no more argument than "I'm the adult, when you're older, you'll understand." and to make it even worse his mother always took sides with the man, leaving the boy feeling completely unloved, misunderstood and deeply, deeply at war with himself. The boy had to make a choice between being himself or getting the love and appreciation of his mother.

      (to be continued)

      Verwijderen
    2. The man on the other hand, did notice this and it broke his heart to realise he wasn't being the good father that he always hoped to be. He got madly addicted to alcohol and everything went from bad to worse. Just like you, he "did some horrible things and hurt a lot of people around me, without thinking of the consequences on there lives" and he's been hoping for forgiveness ever since.
      This may seem like a sad story, but I believe there's a beautiful moral to be found in how this all evolved in the mind of the kid. You may remember the boy who happens to have an exceptionally different kind of insight in things.
      You see this boy hated the man deeply, even though he never believed in hate. But as he lived on, he tried to make his way in our world and realised the world is filled with situations like this. And he realised among other things how parenting issues are being passed on from one generation to the next. And he realised how everything is ultimately connected. And he realised that everything is just a reaction to an action, right untill you STOP and breathe for a while. And in his breath he found his hate was not towards the man, it was towards himself, a small part of himself he deeply hated, indeed. This part was his ego, the part that merely reacted to the way he was raised. And in that he found that the man probably hated himself even more than the boy hated himself, and then he knew: the part he hated in himself was the same part that had raised him so badly: the man's ego, raised by his father's ego and so on.
      THE MORAL of this story: what is forgiveness, when there is nothing to forgive but yourself?
      You've already been forgiven, dear soul, you just can't see it because you haven't found it in you to believe it just yet ;) Which is probably why you keep reaching outward for the people you've hurt, but instead try for a change to look inward for forgiveness. If you truly are a better person than you were before, then why not be thankful for that and live a wonderful life nonetheless? I'm sure the people you've hurt will do the very same.
      My theory fits here because it is a theory of unity (in contrast to our duality minds), which practically means there is no good and bad, and everything is connected, so no matter what, everyone is walking their path and so are you, don't get too distracted by the seemingly bad things, though, you might miss out on the good ones ;)

      Peace of mind and all my Love to you
      Namaste

      (excuse my excessive writing, I really can't help it, this is just what came to me at this particular moment in regard to your particular comment, feel free to take from it what can be of use and leave aside what you don't need)

      Verwijderen
    3. Hey Mr. Dean,

      First of all, i wish you the very best for 2014 with all my heart.

      I read this a while ago, but now it's the first time i can make some free time to reply on you're (long) answer ;-)

      I presume that family was yours, so i will directly try to reply on your experiences.
      So the father of your stephfather was a sort of tiran amongst his own family, and gave his own fatherness knowledge on to his son in the best way he knew.
      That son (your stephfather) did'nt knew any better than try to give it on to you, also in the best way he tought it should be. Hi did'nt now what being a parent is al about, but when a man raises children for the first time, how can he now what being a parent is all about ?? Simply by learning from himself, as well from his child, or children i suppose. As long that he can seperate the "right" things to do, from the "bad" things to do, there is'nt much of a problem, is there ? I also strongly believe that a certain amound of control is neccessary for young children. Imaging when there was none ??
      When i try to understand what you've been going through, i have a few questions regarding this. Did this man loved you like his own, did he paid the bills for you, did he took care of you in a good way, or did he abused you in any way (psychically or mentally), hurt you or whatever. And not only for the last years he was with you, but the entire time he knew you ?? Where you flawless as a child ? Did you never did anything that wa'nt right ? I was'nt, believe me :D
      Please explain to me what a good father should be, i'm very curious to your answer ;-)
      I try to imaging this for me....you, the indigo child (yes, i've looked it up) and on the other hand the father who does not know how to be a father, must have been very difficult.
      Forgive me that it seems i'm defending this man, i now to little about your situaton and i'm missing to much parameters, but i reflect your story a little bit to mine.
      So the man moved on with a heart full of regrets, hoping for a kind word of forgiveness and living his on life now ?
      I have forgiven myself quit some time ago, but i'm still feeling pain inside me. I wish things worked out differently but a time machine still is'nt invented today ;)
      I sincerely hope that you can forgive that man and give the past a place in your heart and memories. The world is far from perfect, and we all try to do the right things, but when there is a glitch, than the power of forgiveness is a beautifull thing amongst people. I try to do so, whenever i was right or wrong. There is enough misery in the world we've come to know.

      thanks for your kind words. I will never forget the people who's had a great place in my life, and i hope you have that same feeling somewhere inside you slumbering.

      Hope to read you again sometime Indigo one ;-)

      Peace of mind to you to नमस्ते

      Verwijderen
    4. Well in fact, I did feel quite heavily abused. I didn't like being yelled at and punished every time I tried to be myself or stand up for myself. Sure it probably had presumed loving intentions on his side, but love must have meant something different to him. For me, love means to become happy from the happiness within another, and when it is shared it is obviously the strongest force in the universe, seeing as it can enforce itself into infinity.

      So getting angry with someone for them not being as you would want them to be, is to me kind of like the opposite of love, 'cause it completely contradicts that you'd be happy because they are, if you're trying to change them. That just doesn't make people happy. So a better thing to do (I'm not claiming I know what being a father is all about, but I do have "scientific research" on my side here, but it's mostly common sense too) would be to SUPPORT a child (instead of 'raising'), and when your child thinks differently on a matter, don't be like "hey, I know life, listen to me", but be interested in the kids point of view! It's literally one of the tips in my developmental psychology class that being AMAZED by your childs point of view is a great way of supporting it's autonomy (meaning: having a feeling of freedom in own perspective on things and opportunity of acting upon that, as opposed to being independent, which is another meaning of autonomy).

      I don't know why you asked of me what I think fatherhood is about, but fair enough, I guess I could give it a shot. I think the most important thing is to give your child a safe environment to completely explore himself and the world around him(/her for that matter). A safe environment doesn't have to mean "that a certain amount of control is necessary for young children", but much rather that a child has the space in which it can make its own mistakes, instead of having to trust that someone else knows what's best for him (where's that gonna get him in life?) and when it does make a mistake, that is the time for a parent to shine at its brightest, by being there for the child to fall back upon for advice and support, for as much as the child needs and desires it. If you think about it, it looks a lot like the relation two good friends would have, only the child isn't supposed to support the parent just yet.

      But sure, I was loved, I don't doubt that, but not in a way that was desirable for me. In fact it is still that way some times, the people who love me think they know better what is best for me and then instead of saying that in a way that I am allowed, but not obliged, to consider it, they get angry if I tell them I prefer doing things my own way.
      Think about it, when have you EVER learned something by someone telling you what is ok and what's not and then believing them just like that? If I were a parent, I would be PROUD of my child to question even my own "authority" and points of view. That would mean my child has the power to think for himself, which many people today still seem to lack. And that's what I want for my children, for them to enjoy their reference point inside of themselves, is the greatest gift I have for them.

      And hey, "defending this man" implies that there is a good and bad side in this story, but there isn't, that would only be one point of view, which clearly can't be the only one, as you've already made another one. And that's life, everyone makes his own point of view, but for some reason people don't like it when someone disagrees with their point of view, which is completely senseless, the very idea of not allowing someone to disagree is disagreeing in the first place.

      Verwijderen
    5. I don't know how the man moved on, I haven't had a real conversation with him, well, ever, to be honest. He was so busy trying to teach me his ways that he seemed to forget how people learn for themselves so much better. I suppose that drove us apart a great deal, he never really seemed to care about what I had to say, he just seemed to assume I was saying it to defy him, rather than seeing it to be my actual way of thinking. You have a good point in how it was a longer time ago; I really don't remember that well, my memory works different than most people I think. Love was there, I do remember slights of bits, but I also remember a lot of materialism and a lot of conditional love, meaning I'd have to do well in order to feel appreciated.

      HAH and hell no I wasn't an easy kid, definitely not in this world, I'm very aware of that. I can make almost anything you say turn in a way you no longer agree with yourself, that can't be easy as a parent, but it's just my way of trying to get people to think further than their current beliefs. It's really an invitation to perfect our collective point of view, but it was usually taken as an invitation to yell at me.
      Sure, I’ve considered that I may have just been too annoying to handle, but then again he’s the one who ended up being an alcoholic and yelling all the time, that doesn’t seem like the right way of dealing with things. And that's exactly what I mean with being myself and not being allowed to, it is who I AM to do that (damn indigo traits :p), and at home they always made me feel like I was an insufferable child because of it. That's what hurt the most really, but I don't even feel like there is something to be forgiven, it feels more like a misunderstanding that we all probably learned a great deal from.

      I learned that being who I really am isn't only much more fun for me, but people outside of my family seem to respect and enjoy me a lot more than they used to when I was still in the habit of restricting myself, because I had to at home. And I hope for his sake he learned not to drink every day and that he shouldn’t take family for granted like that. And perhaps that the fear of not having something can very effectively take away the joy of having it, which in time can easily lead to a realization of the fear that caused it in the first place. Fear is something we aren’t learned to deal with in a positive way I believe, it probably has something to do with that people who live in fear are so much easier to control. That’s so ugly! Fear is here to show you what matters to you, like how for example being afraid to talk to a girl for the first time can show you how excited you really are about that.

      I’m glad you can reflect on your story a bit, ‘cause I feel like I’m the one telling all the stories here, while really I’m just trying to help YOU out ^^ If you want to reflect some of your story here, I’d be happy to give you a positive point of view on it, I enjoy making things positive even when they don’t seem to be, and that’s really the essence of what I’m trying to show in this blog, it’s not even the content that counts, but how it can be used by every individual differently, in whichever way they please.

      BTW I hope by now you’ve realized you don’t need anyones forgiveness but yourselves? Unless you really want those people in your life again off course, that’s a much more complex way of going about this. ‘Cause for all we know, these people might not have any desire of you being in their lives anymore, and if you love them, you should be able to allow that just as much as you should allow yourself to live without the burden of thinking you have done things that aren’t forgiven. ‘Cause I believe that’s your desire, right? The best way to get your desires is to allow them to happen, rather than trying to force them ;) Believing is a great way of allowing, so I’ve found :)

      Try not to dwell on negative emotions, they’re only there to lead the path to positive things, ENJOY your time here fellow soul :D peaaaace

      Verwijderen
  3. Hey Indigo one,

    When i read your comment, it seems to me that you analyze to much through "scientific research", than of the realstic facts of "real life". Nothing is coming from a book or text somewhere wich was written by somebody, if you ask me. The learnig school of life is an adventure that changes as you live it ! People change constantly for better or for worst altough a certain basic stays. I shurely agree that one supports it's child, but when the elder thinks it's wrong, than he/she should react in some way ? Do you have kids of your own ??
    You also say that a kid has to make it's own mistakes to learn from it, also here a little disagreament. If you should see that a mistake is about to happen to YOUR kid, are you gonna wait untill it's to late ?? I don't think so. A parent is protective, especially towards it's own blood, at least if he love it offcourse. Otherwise he/she could not give a damn, you know what i'm saying ?? Besides of that there is also some kind of respect to an older one, don't you think so ?
    It's a petty, that he did'nt understood you, but mayby you were not so understandable from his point of view ? (here i go again ;))
    The drinking of him, had it something to do with the situatoin in your home, his kids, his wife, his job ? Whatever reason offcourse, it's not a good thing, aux contrair. Drinking is not the solution of nothing, believe me i know. I used to drink also a lot, but never beyond recognition. I was spared from the term "alcoholic" i guess !
    Very nive theory about fear, so true !
    What you say in the last bit is also very true, i'm still seeking and reaching out for some contact whatsoever, just to talk to them, tell them how sorry i am for the pain and stress i've probably gave them, talk about the good things we did togheter, the trips, the love we shared, the friendship etc.
    I've not seen them in more then 3 years now, don't know how they are doing and i miss these little things. I still hope that some day, one of them will try to contact me, just to say, "hey, how are you these days ?"
    Anyway, i live my life as good as possible and try not to think about them too much, but it never really leave's my mind. I have a steady life now, new friends, new family, and the one i miss most is my own father, who past away 2 years ago. The man i could talk to, the man i could understand, and the man i looked up to very much. Altough when i was a kid and did something wrong he was not affraid to lay his hand on me. Strangely enough i loved hem unconditionelly. We live in a hard world Dean, with no exact rules for nobody. Go with the flow is my motto lately. Hope to hear from you again. I find this very interesting in any way ;-)

    BeantwoordenVerwijderen
    Reacties
    1. "If you should see that a mistake is about to happen to YOUR kid, are you gonna wait untill it's to late ?"

      Earlier you say that nothing comes from a book or text that is written by someone, then who are you to decide for someone else what a mistake really is? Even if it's your own child... What if in your protection of the thing you think is a mistake you're actually just not allowing the kid to make up for himself how he chooses to see things? What if that in turn becomes so bad for the kid that YOU are the thing it needs protection from, but you just can't see it, because your perspective of mistake is different?
      What if one day you see your child being so affraid of things it hasn't even really thought about, because you taught it to be scared? What if a child links this fear to things beyond what you were trying to teach it? 'Cause you know, a parent 'protecting' his child, leads the child to believe there is something it needs protection FROM, causing a sense of fear that is not a part of himself, and because it doesn't know what it's affraid of, it could get confused and be affraid to live life the way it wants to, simply because you taught him there is something wrong with that...
      Now that's the situation I found myself in when I went to university: I finally broke loose of my home situation which made me feel SO bad, but then all of a sudden I had to go out on my own and I found it extremely hard to be myself, spontaneously, especially when I disagreed with someone, my heart would start bouncing in my chest and I did not understand what was happening. Later I realised that my drunk stepdad used to punish me EVERY SINGLE TIME I disagreed with him, which is a lot like the situation where you could find something to be a mistake, but it doesn't need to be that way for someone else. So the protection you're proposing actually led me to fear disagreeing with someone, and I happen to be a thinker, so I disagree with people quite a lot, and I don't think that's a bad thing, I see it as a learning opportunity, BUT because of the way he treated me (maybe from his perspective it was indeed to 'protect' me) I felt fear every time I wanted to stand up for myself and the worst part of it all is that I did not know where that fear was coming from...

      So no, I would not choose to 'protect' my child if I THINK to see it's making a mistake, on the other hand, I would say why I think it might be a bad idea, and ask why my child wants to go in that direction so badly. Basicly I would do the same thing I'd do for a dear friend: "are you sure this is the way you want to go? Cause then I will be there for you, I may not agree, but I support whatever path you choose to take, because I love you." And that way the kid will feel safe to go either the path it chose, or to back out and say "maybe you're right", or maybe even a combination of both, but it will know I love him/her.

      Verwijderen
    2. But offcourse this is my perspective, 'cause I didn't feel much love in my situation (why would you, if you're getting yelled at all the time) I would choose a different approach.

      "It's a petty, that he did'nt understood you, but mayby you were not so understandable from his point of view ? (here i go again ;))" - I don't see the difference, is it somehow my task to make myself understandable? Do I have to explain myself for the way I want to live my life? Cause I would have loved to, but every time I would try, I would get yelled at and punished because I disagreed with my step dad, so maybe he just didn't make himself very approachable to ever understand me? ;)

      Oh and, I don't know what his reasons were, but his drinking problem went WAY beyond recognition! In fact it went so far beyond recognition, that he probably still doesn't realize it went beyond recognition ;O For instance, he would get drunk at evenings, most evenings really, and he would argue with my mum, like really heavilly, yelling at her for hours and then strumble to the couch and fall asleep, and the next day, he wouldn't remember a thing !! So my mum was supermad at him for the way he acted the night before, AND HE DIDN'T EVEN REMEMBER A THING! That's pretty bad, isn't it? ;o Imagine how that must've made my mum feel :s she was getting blamed for being angry by the person that made her so upset in the first place, without any recognition of that... And me and my sister were in between that, nothing we could ever do, but patiently wait for my mum to make the only decision she was eventually left with: kicking him the hell out of our lives.

      And hey, go with the flow happens to be my motto too :D so cheers to that ;) Allthough it kinda conflicts with your "protect your child" ideas, doesn't it? Or are you the only one who gets to go with the flow, and not your kids?

      Strangely enough I love unconditionally, it doesn't even need a subject for me, cause it applies to everything we know and way beyond, I just LOVE :D So, in a way I love my stepdad unconditionally too, unfortunately it never seemed to be that way for him, 'cause punishing your child kind of implies that a condition isn't met, from his perspective, weird isn't it? Maybe it had something to do with us not sharing the same blood then? Allthough I don't think that way, since I love the all that is ^^

      Oh man, I wish my stepdad would be a little more like you, he has tried to contact me a few times over the years, but the word "sorry" never actually came up, he was still more concerned with telling me what he felt that I was doing wrong, can you believe that?? xD

      By the way, I strongly believe your beliefs are reflected IN your reality (much rather than that your beliefs are a reflection ABOUT your reality), so if you believe it's a hard world, you might see that reflected in your reality, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's true, 'cause for a fact I believe it's a WONDERFUL world full of JOY, PASSION and LOVE and frankly, that's all I can see anymore, so maybe I'm right about the way beliefs are reflected in your reality^^ good luck with grasping that, it's a fun idea to try out ;)

      Verwijderen
    3. A little side note, even though you haven't been able to reply just yet. I reread a part of your comment and noticed that I've recently learned more and that it might comfort you a bit.

      Your father has only "passed away" from our perspective, he's still very much alive from his perspective. So whenever you feel like talking to him, just do it. In your mind, 'cause, you see, in our perspective we feel separated from the rest of the world, that's just our way of seeing things right now, but after death, things are quite a lot different. I don't know for sure what it's like (I'm separated too, mostly), but what I do know, is that when you think about someone who's passed away, they can feel the connection between you two a lot stronger than you can, and they will know exactly what you're sending out to them. So no worries, when you need someone, you can always find whoever you need. Deep inside your heart is a connection to everything that is alive, even things that don't seem alive to us anymore and, in fact, even the things that are going to live in the future.

      In Love, we are all connected. Namaste, brother.

      Verwijderen
    4. नमस्ते to you to brother,

      Wauuww, that last part is so beautifully written that i've read it several times over again.
      I was also very amused with the part of me being better than your stepfather. I wonder if the man contacted you with the words "i'm sorry", that everything would be okay for you ??
      I've tried to say "i'm sorry" in other words, by reaching out, trying to contact them, but they never gave me a chance to say "i'm sorry", because i get my mouth shut before there is any conversation at all.
      When i read the drinking of your stepfather i went really quiet because it's so recognisable for me. That must have been a hard time for you and your sister, not to mention your mum. How is he now ?? Does he still drinks very much or do you now nothing of him anymore ?
      I live my life now in peace, i drink on occasion and with control over it, work very hard and think of my father almost every single day, with all of my heart. That's why you're last part went very deep for me and it's a very nice thought to see things like you describe them. It's filled with hope and love.
      When i read you, it's almost impossible to imagine that you were so misunderstood and i hope that all of this is in the past now for you.
      Can i ask you how your are doing today ?? You still in university, live alone, have a good life ??
      Sorry for all of these questions but i feel rarely connected to you, especially for you're idea's about life and raising children ;-)
      I hope that one day you can talk with your stepfather without remorse or grudge, just the same as i wanna talk to my stepchildren once again. It's a never disappearing feeling and a very big hole in my heart.
      Again, thanks for the last bit, i like the way you think ;-)

      namasté mudra my friend ;-)

      Verwijderen
    5. Hi, I could only get back at you now, 'cause I was learning some things that kept me away for a while.

      Well, yeah, it's filled with hope because I understand the nature of beliefs, they are not true, so why not choose something that is comforting and brings joy^^

      The reason I said you're better than my stepfather is because he doesn't exist... Where ever that person is, it's highly unlikely that he is still the same. I don't réally believe in better or worse.
      It's not about him apologizing at all, I imagine that's something that plays for HIM quite a lot, but you have to know that to me, everything IS okay, in fact everything is perfect just the way it is. So I don't really care whether he says anything, "I'm sorry" or "happy birthday" or whatever, if you have a hole left inside of you, then it is something YOU believe, that is bothering you, not what your stepchildren think of you.
      I have no clue whether he drinks or how he is, and frankly I don't really care, it's his life and he can take responsability for it whenever he wants. The only issue I had in the past was that he didn't allow me the same kindness.
      And that's funny, I was misunderstood because people don't want to hear anything that goes against their version of reality and I seem so clear about things now, because I have stopped caring about that. If what I think fucks with your reality, then that's your problem, not mine. Of course as a child this simply didn't work, I would get punished all the time. Now I can take care of myself, so no one can do that anymore.
      Errm well yeah, I'm studying psychology now, because we know nothing of the psyche, but are constantly pretending to know. I wish to correct this error, but it's really a matter of not having anything better to do anyway. To be honest, university is boring as hell and I hope I can change that a little for future generations. University has the same issue as my stepdad did: people don't like their versions of reality fucked with. Tough luck ;) And I have a great life, I'm currently working on developing a fully self-sustainable place near a forest, but off course it's a little on hold during my time at university, but that's my real passion and it's slowly but surely taking form :D
      I don't hold a grudge or feel remorse. If anything, it seems that you believe your stepchildren might feel that way, but remember: no belief is true ;)

      You're welcome, death is a touchy subject, and I'm glad that I can put it in a different perspective for people.

      What do you think namasté means? I love the word but I'm always interested how other people understand it :)

      Peace and Love

      Verwijderen
  4. Hi Mr Dean,

    It's being going on for a long time now, but no more. It's a shame that this is appaerently the only way that we can comminucate with each other and that you more or less can understand me.

    Ja Dean, ik ben het.....je eigen ex-stiefvader Dirk !!! (de man die je 15 jaar vrijwillig papa hebt genoemd)

    Het is nu bijna 5 jaar geleden dat ik je heb gezien of gehoord (buiten deze blog dan) en dat doet nog steeds pijn. Wij hebben ooit vroeger zo dicht bij elkaar gestaan en nu zijn we blijkbaar wereldvreemd van elkaar. Geloof als ik je zeg dat er haast geen dag voorbij gaat dat ik eens niet denk aan jou, je zus of je moeder.
    Ik wou dat ik je beter kon begrijpen en ik doe daar heel erg hard mijn best voor, spijtig dat jij dat helemaal niet doet. Ik denk niet dat de eerste 13 jaar van ons samenzijn zo slecht waren hé ?? Als ik naar de foto's kijk van ons verleden warmt mijn hart helemaal op, en ik mis jullie nog steeds heel erg.
    Toen ik dit blog van jou ontdekte kon ik niet anders dan proberen contact met je te maken zonder dat je besefte dat ik het was. Ik hoop dat je me dit vergeeft. Nooit heb jij je afgevraagd hoe de dingen zijn kunnen lopen zoals ze zijn gelopen, nooit heb je me om tekst en uitleg gevraagd, nooit heb ik je nog gezien of gehoord.
    Als ik de klok zou kunnen terugdraaien, zou ik zoveel dingen anders willen doen, maar dat kan dus niet en moet me hierbij neerleggen.
    Met deze laatste kreet hoop ik alsnog even tot je door te dringen in de hoop je ooit nog eens te zien in betere omstandigheden. Je bent al een pak ouder ( en wijzer?) dan toen.
    Weet dat ik ATIJD heel erg veel van jullie heb gehouden (alhoewel dat soms misschien niet zichtbaar was) en ik ALTIJD mijn best heb gedaan voor uw mama om te bereiken waar ze nu staat.
    Ik weet ook dat ik verschrikkelijke fouten heb gemaakt, maar wie niet ?? Jij ?? Iemand anders ?? Fouten maken is menselijk. Vergeven des mensen
    Mijn leven is helemaal terug in orde en ik hoop dat jij ook wat meer peace hebt gevonden in je leven.
    Met een klein sprankje hoop, hoop ik op deze of andere manier van je te horen en we eens alles kunnen uitpraten mano a mano.
    Dag petatje, ik mis je !!!!

    Namasté betekend voor mij, ga je goed !!!

    Dirk

    BeantwoordenVerwijderen